i wished.
Monday, February 26, 2007
i forget when's the last time i felt fear.
forget about the cats at Jalan Kayu.
but fear. which my stomach goes crumbling and crushing my tummy. i bit my lower lip so often that i am afraid it will bled, like the last time. a slight frown will formed. and the fear. worry. what-ifs. regret. overcome or not? all the questions came running to my mind, out of nowhere. i couldnt concentrate on my book. computer or even my current favourite drama. its like invading into my life. i will close my eyes, and looked into the darkness. this is what i do when i am scared. you wouldnt wanna see those fears, my turn, right in the eye.
it says 11.11pm. how lovely the time is. i cant sleep. at times, i found myself forcing myself not to sleep. i dont want the day to slip by just like that. waking up to face another new dawn. sickening to me, that is.
i have been talking for half a day. practically non-stop. my throat is killing me. though i love talking, so what if i am a chatterbox.. i hate making polite talk. its really ripping me apart. the worse is i have to fake out smiles and touch on sensitive topics. okay.. not sensitive, annoying.
i nearly cried out in frustration. okay.. i am kidding. god knows i dont. all the blasblasblas.
...: are you attached?
cj: no
...: why?
cj: cos i dont believe in such.
...: just yet to meet one?
cj: perhaps. what's mine will be mine.
...: me too. i cant wait to meet the right guy..............................................blablabla X 100000
she go on,on,and on.
i sit there listening and shoving short answers.
cj cant shout that out to her face due to certain reasons BUT..
I DONT GIVE A DAMN TO WHETHER YOU MEET THE RIGHT GUY COS YOU ARE NOT MY PERSONAL FRIEND.
i know you read this. this is for you (:
and oh.. this is my answer..
you claimed that i am a difficult woman to juggle.
cj is saying...
and yes.. i am frickle-minded.
but my clan still loves me. in fact, for who i am.
i am everything i am, because they love me.
and from the bottom of my... golden... heart...
may you find the him.
talking about him.......
up next,
this fellow caught my eye out of.... i dont know how many.
okay.. forget about the shirt-less.
i thought his smile looks nice and healthy. with the toothbrush. i was in the midst of brushing my teeth when i saw this. (*:
...., you glad that i make a post of this?